On your nose
That’s where the most
Ignored part of you goes.
You look right over it all your life
And only realize it’s there
When you’re pulled out of your zone
And have to think about it.
Like right now.
Now it has you.
And it hurts your eyes
Because the end of your nose
Is nothing to look into
For too long.
Giraffes are gay.
By that I mean
The males have anal sex with each other.
I don’t know what the females do.
At the expensive laundromat -
I’m the only one wearing pj pants.
The hot black guy just left.
He folded his laundry just like I will
But he was not wearing pj pants.
I wonder what all these people are thinking?
Somewhere there’s this sheep
That was raised by lions.
And it’s the fiercest sheep
ON THE PLANET!
And it will fuck shit up.
And it will reign in the field
Because it knows it’s the strongest.
And its spine is the straightest spine
Vertebrae by vertebrae.
And you don’t want to mess with this sheep.
You just don’t.
I went to the doctor to get this wart on my foot surgically removed. My doctor (who was my favorite karaoke dj in town) told me he wanted to have my feet cut off, send my feet to the lab, remove the wart, reattach my feet with stitches, and let them grow back together. This frightened me, and I told him I wasn’t ready for that. He said they might be able to do it a different way.
So he sent me to this female surgeon who was to do the procedure. I told her about my fear of having my feet cut off, and she told me (in some idiom that only makes sense in dreaming) that she didn’t want that either, and that she wanted to use a drill to get it off. This sounded much more pleasing to me.
I noticed that since doctors have so much to do, they move very quickly and bump into things. When one of the many docs who was buzzing about the place walked by, he bumped my char and sent it spinning. Then he took notice of what my lady surgeon and I were doing, and he decided to observe.
Getting down to the surgery, I was in the chair wearing a pro wrestling tee shirt I owned in middle school (with a misquote from Poe on it) and no pants. I was wide awake and still unnerved that anyone wanted to cut my feet off. So I kept my eyes closed, but I could see silhouettes of everything through my eye lids. The first thing she did was stick a long needle through my waist just to the left of my crotch. She sewed it through me like it had thread, and taped it to my side. Then she started cutting. I couldn’t feel anything, but in the shapes I saw, the part that she removed wasn’t my planters wart at all. The observing doc mentioned it was the biggest growth he’d ever seen. The surgeon held up to the light a silhouette of my detached penis.
And I woke up.
Full of beer like a wooden keg
On the neck of some
Saint Bernard in the mountains
Coming up to you
Touch the barrel and
Feel wet mahogany
Wood dewed out
With whiskey condensation.
And you’re freezing and wet
And I’m hot in your chest
With a warmth that reminds you
Your heart still beats.
And I can’t take you home
Because there’s a whole lot more
Lost fucks out here
Who need a hot lung.
So I send you on your way
And look up at Polaris
And keep trudging along through the tundra.
Get home ok.
Chillin in the cooler
At the Meat Market
Where we don’t necessarily want to eat the stuff
Just rub up against it
So we can smell it and
Lick the taste of sausage
Off our fingers when we get home.
Finishing Day 12 without cigarettes. But I have taken a few drags here and there from other people’s fingers. I still call it Day 12. I’m not picky. Everything in moderation- Including moderation. But I really want one now. Maybe beer isn’t good for this. Beer makes me want to smoke. I should cut the bullshit and go with whiskey. Hard liquor vapor in the lungs is much more cleansing. Mentholy.
I might still live with addiction. But I’m not in love with it any more.
Wonder who gets kicked out first.
I’m watching you labor over this jigsaw.
The pieces keep escaping your hands
Because you’re so sweaty and worked up
And you don’t know how you’re ever going to
Get the thing done.
So I’m looking at it, and I can tell that
When you complete it
It’s just going to be a big picture of
A broken puzzle.
So I get up and do my thing
And when you look up and
Ask what I’m doing, I tell you -
Holding up the sky.
And you think it’s weird
But I promise you it’s not very heavy.
Watching you let so many douche-boggins
Explore your body with their
Or when they survey your face
With their hungry mouths.
Can’t you tell by the words that
Drizzle off their bobbing tongues
That they’re not so much the shit storm you crave
As the puddles when the storms are done?
Meanwhile your great admirer-
Your lover- Watches from a distance.
And I’m jealous.
And I’m impatient.
And I’m going to have your child
When I get the chance
When you’re done with the sausage factory.
But go play.
Just don’t let then cage you.
Fly free, Songbird.
I guess I’m just saying
If I’d have known that
Playing Sexual Healing on the juke
Would mean watching you make out
With that cologne smelling mother fuck,
I’d have gone with Aretha Franklin instead.
My little celery stick, you’re probably wiser than me by now. But as we know, these moments of clarity come and go like a lightning bug’s ass.
I’m sick. I can function enough to work, but not enough to be happy. I feel like I flossed my throat with one of those cacti I’ve been planting. My lungs are a hurtin unit. I can’t sing. I can’t greet a friend with any boister. I can’t even read this page to you aloud. These are all my favorite things- my most valuable gifts. And they’re gone. My charisma is nothing without my voice.
This is Day Five without cigarettes. I stopped out of necessity because it hurt, and I’ve got to heal. But once this ailment is gone, it’s going to be up to you. If you keep smoking, that beautiful voice of yours will eventually wither like a gifted winter rose. We don’t want that, man.
Times will get stressful. I know. And if you don’t make it, I still love you. But I also know how strong you can be. I hurt right now, and I can’t sing. I want better for you. Just like you’ll want better for yours. I’ll set you up. Let’s be strong now.
With Hope and Peace,